From Tears To Smiles

(Written on April 16, 2012, but not published due to internet delay)

The hours had been starting to take a toll. Although the countryside and even assigned reading were interesting they couldn’t comfort the dull ache of leaving Arusha earlier that morning. Arusha, with its cool temperatures, beautiful green rolling hills, and wonderful people who had become family, had completely and utterly felt like home. I was comfortable walking around the big busy town without a worry, ordering and eating food uncommon to most Americans, and talking with locals. All of that was being left like the dust settling behind us. When we finally reached Dar-Es-Salaam (after a delay by policy wanting a bribe) my heart sunk. 

This is a city of 6 million people. Skyscrapers block out the stars, cars jammed together closer than sardines, homeless people slept on cardboard beds and lots of noise overcrowded me. Oh how I cried for just wanting to be someplace away from the big city…I was never more Mill City-sick than on the first night in Dar-Es-Salaam.

I fell on the bed utterly exhausted emotionally. Krista and I had waited for 6+ hours to go home with our new host family that would hopefully start making Dar bearable for the next moth. Our wishes had been crushed. We did get placed with a host family, but (due to unseen complications) our professor and his wife would also be with us. After having a wonderful father figure in Arusha for January who was gone most of March I was looking forward to seeing another. After dinner I was positive that was not going to be possible. Instead of building personal relations with Baba, I listened to my professor question him on his role and history as Arch Bishop of Tanzania. The wonderfully big luxurious house (on American and Tanzanian standards) felt more like a prison with all the formality. It seemed all had a certain role to play with a painted mask instead of being oneself and building relationships.

The first couple days of being with the host family was hard and the worst part was no one else would understand. Bailey is living in a family with no running water how can she (or others in the group) understand that a modern housing arrangement doesn’t mean it’s a comfortable home with no relationship tensions?

Although I dislike pessimism, it would be lying to say at this point I was very optimistic about the month in Dar. But sometimes when we hit our bottom and question what good could come from this, God reminds us that his timing and ways are not always ours.

Story sharing with Mama in two-hour traffic jams to go 20 km home each day lead to many unexpected good times. Stories, humor and understandings are so important for becoming familiar with another person. Although it would take a long time to tell all the stories here, the important thing I can communicate now is that these stories started to break the ice. It started with Mama Grace laughing at our awkward stories from the previous three months and then further back. Then with Baba Askofu (that means bishop) telling stories. It started to be comfortable to talk to him as just another person rather than an important bishop. With our two younger brothers Jeremiah “Jerry” and Joseph “Jo” it was easer to connect with (even though Jo has autism). Never doubt the importance of humor!

Krista had an American friend coming from Mozambique and all the housing plans she had arranged in February fell through a few days before he was to come. However, Mama was understand and insisted on picking him up from the airport, having him over for dinner, and late found a hotel for him very close to our house. Us three were able to have so much fun and break more ice with the family. One of the major ways was through food!

In order to show appreciation to Mama and family we three (slightly crazy and ambitions) Americans made a Mexican burrito dinner including: 2 salsas, special bean mix, rice, cheese, guacamole, flour tortillas (from scratch), meat and an amazing dessert. Oh it was wonderful to have fellowship together. Now we all feel like friends and family with no more play masks being put on.

When the sun shone I realized that God had even blessed the location of our home. Anytime during the day if one is silent (yes I can even do this) no traffic horns, people yelling or music blaring can be heard. Instead the birds chirp in trees by day and crickets compose new melodies by night. Sure classes by day are still in downtown Dar, but every night home is a haven for a tired traveler.

It’s hard to think only a week and half has passed since coming to Dar. Sure it’s hot (not as bad as Zanzibar), but there is so much to be happy for that there isn’t much room to be bummed out about. The hours are flying by way to fast, but light as happy as cool whip. God really does know how to change situations that cause tears into those that warm the heart with smiles. J

From Tears To Smiles

(Written on April 16, 2012, but not published due to internet delay)

The hours had been starting to take a toll. Although the countryside and even assigned reading were interesting they couldn’t comfort the dull ache of leaving Arusha earlier that morning. Arusha, with its cool temperatures, beautiful green rolling hills, and wonderful people who had become family, had completely and utterly felt like home. I was comfortable walking around the big busy town without a worry, ordering and eating food uncommon to most Americans, and talking with locals. All of that was being left like the dust settling behind us. When we finally reached Dar-Es-Salaam (after a delay by policy wanting a bribe) my heart sunk. 

This is a city of 6 million people. Skyscrapers block out the stars, cars jammed together closer than sardines, homeless people slept on cardboard beds and lots of noise overcrowded me. Oh how I cried for just wanting to be someplace away from the big city…I was never more Mill City-sick than on the first night in Dar-Es-Salaam.

I fell on the bed utterly exhausted emotionally. Krista and I had waited for 6+ hours to go home with our new host family that would hopefully start making Dar bearable for the next moth. Our wishes had been crushed. We did get placed with a host family, but (due to unseen complications) our professor and his wife would also be with us. After having a wonderful father figure in Arusha for January who was gone most of March I was looking forward to seeing another. After dinner I was positive that was not going to be possible. Instead of building personal relations with Baba, I listened to my professor question him on his role and history as Arch Bishop of Tanzania. The wonderfully big luxurious house (on American and Tanzanian standards) felt more like a prison with all the formality. It seemed all had a certain role to play with a painted mask instead of being oneself and building relationships.

The first couple days of being with the host family was hard and the worst part was no one else would understand. Bailey is living in a family with no running water how can she (or others in the group) understand that a modern housing arrangement doesn’t mean it’s a comfortable home with no relationship tensions?

Although I dislike pessimism, it would be lying to say at this point I was very optimistic about the month in Dar. But sometimes when we hit our bottom and question what good could come from this, God reminds us that his timing and ways are not always ours.

Story sharing with Mama in two-hour traffic jams to go 20 km home each day lead to many unexpected good times. Stories, humor and understandings are so important for becoming familiar with another person. Although it would take a long time to tell all the stories here, the important thing I can communicate now is that these stories started to break the ice. It started with Mama Grace laughing at our awkward stories from the previous three months and then further back. Then with Baba Askofu (that means bishop) telling stories. It started to be comfortable to talk to him as just another person rather than an important bishop. With our two younger brothers Jeremiah “Jerry” and Joseph “Jo” it was easer to connect with (even though Jo has autism). Never doubt the importance of humor!

Krista had an American friend coming from Mozambique and all the housing plans she had arranged in February fell through a few days before he was to come. However, Mama was understand and insisted on picking him up from the airport, having him over for dinner, and late found a hotel for him very close to our house. Us three were able to have so much fun and break more ice with the family. One of the major ways was through food!

In order to show appreciation to Mama and family we three (slightly crazy and ambitions) Americans made a Mexican burrito dinner including: 2 salsas, special bean mix, rice, cheese, guacamole, flour tortillas (from scratch), meat and an amazing dessert. Oh it was wonderful to have fellowship together. Now we all feel like friends and family with no more play masks being put on.

When the sun shone I realized that God had even blessed the location of our home. Anytime during the day if one is silent (yes I can even do this) no traffic horns, people yelling or music blaring can be heard. Instead the birds chirp in trees by day and crickets compose new melodies by night. Sure classes by day are still in downtown Dar, but every night home is a haven for a tired traveler.

It’s hard to think only a week and half has passed since coming to Dar. Sure it’s hot (not as bad as Zanzibar), but there is so much to be happy for that there isn’t much room to be bummed out about. The hours are flying by way to fast, but light as happy as cool whip. God really does know how to change situations that cause tears into those that warm the heart with smiles. J

Teaching is Learning

                                                                                                                                     (Wrote on Friday)

     The desks are empty. The floor is swept. The rooms are quiet. The blackboard is blank. Memories float like ghosts throughout the warm rays of afternoon light floating in. A child’s smile. Another’s tears. Quiet times with testing minds working hard. Loud times with preposition learning way back on day one….It is hard to think I have one more bus ride till I too am leaving school. Dust will soon settle in the month long vacation that started today at noon. However, this past month has opened so many windows and doors that have helped me learn so much on a profession and personal level. Lessons that will forever influence me as a teacher.

            Individual desk; computers; lined, poster, colored, loose leaf paper; tape; laminators; roll call sheets; books; printers; copiers; break period; glue. In any of the schools and lesson plans I’ve ever had before these are just some of the many assumed resources available to use. That is not the case here. One of the biggest things I’ve learned this month concerning my profession is the need to teach to the students’ needs with the resources available. There is no corner store you can pop over to or a fully stocked supply room just down the hall. However, just because resources may seem limited doesn’t mean to give less to students. With an old puzzle book (missing its pieces), a thin cover over a sample big book, two pieces of old cardboard from calendars, 8 brass brackets, old letter head paper from Minnesota stuffed in old boxes, and markers I was able to create a small class set of clocks to help teach time. Most of this was either in the garbage or just a quick look around. Sometimes the best resource one has is their commonsense and focus on topic. I have never taught or researched any of the lessons I did throughout this month. I just knew there was a purpose that needed to be grasped in 70 minds and prepped for that…and sometimes I abandoned the written plan and adapted to haw the students were responding. That is the second thing I learned: adaptability is not spontaneity and need to follow the purpose one is wanting to achieve. This could be in confirming to existing order or other teachers’ ideas on some things or adapting own style to order, lesson structure and activities as the students’ learning requires it. This could also include getting out of the teachers’ lounge to do fun class community bonding experiences to strengthen teacher-student relations. I have really learned professionally how important it is to have positive relationships and communication between students, teachers, and administration. This helps so much with classroom management and the learning environment. Instead of a teacher just holding power (mostly in the form of the cane) over students to either fear or not care, trust, respect, and understand of each other is needed. Using resources wisely, adapting with a purpose and emphasizing positive student-teacher relations are three things that I learned in the professional setting.

            Sitting in a lecture with undivided attention is hard. Jumping into conversations with new acquaintance is petrifying. Letting anyone know about me without safety walls is unthinkable. Whenever I’m in a classroom these feeling melt away and I am at a confident peace in what I am doing. One of the things I’ve personally been affirmed is how alive I feel around students. No matter how little sleep I got or how bad a morning I dealt with, I don’t feel (or remember) any of it until after I return home for the day. When there is a student around, it doesn’t matter that they ask repetitive questions or need to go to the toilet, but that they can learn and understand what is required of them. At school it’s not about me, but the students. Along with focusing on students’ needs, I also have learned to set aside nay thoughts of peoples’ judgment and jump into something new and goofy with a fun attitude and high energy. This was most apparent to me when I taught the students an new repeat-after-me-song called “Pizza Man” and we did it while other teachers, administrators and students roamed about. It may not make MTV’s top 20 song list, but the kids love getting into it. Now whenever I see them I do the Pizza Man sign and they copy it silently to the bewilderment of those around them. This also has strengthened my relationship with the students as they know I allow time for fun and noise, but also require silence and diligence to work at others. I am more comfortable being myself and having confidence in my abilities with interacting with students than I do anywhere else.

            No one chooses a major and spends three years at a private liberal arts school working for it without an inner drive. When I was a freshman in high school I had the assignment of researching something that related to me personally. While I was watching a commercial with beautiful African children’s faces on it, I heard a voice as close to my ear and as deep as my heart saying: “This is what I want you to do.” I did my project on HIV and AIDS orphans in Africa and have spent the past seven years working towards the goal of teaching someday in East Africa. Finally being here, if only for a month, has positively and completely confirmed my perspective of teaching. I feel such freedom in doing God’s will and knowing He gives me peace and confidence to keep going. This trip has come at a perfect place in my life as I still have a year at Whitworth where I can use 1^st world country’s resources to prepare me to return here after graduation. I feel more at home here than I have in many other settings in the states. When I’ve designed lessons and taught for practicum in the states I’ve always had the moto “This is helping me somehow to prepare for God’s will” and it’s been reaffirming to see how it has prepared me and how eager I m to learn even more.

            The courtyard is silent. The canes are idol. The lunchroom is vacant. The buses are parked. Warm air rustles the leaves. Time keeps going. Sometime it is slow (pole pole) like a chameleon, while other times it is fast (haraka haraka) like a cheetah. Throughout it all I have learned more about myself professionally, personally and my future as a teacher.