PST Learnings Sept. 18, 2014

        Today I finished my last training class as a Peace Corps Trainee (PST). Tomorrow I dress up all cute, go to the US Embassy, and get sworn in as a Peace Corps Volunteer. The following day I go to my home for the next two years and get settled in before teaching. Someone once told me life is like driving. Usually you need to look forward and plan ahead so you know where you are going, but every once in a while you need to glance in your rear view mirror to see where you have been. Here is the rear view of the past three months, of learning about myself, others, and life.

1. Difference between needs and wants

A need is to "require something because it is essential or important." A want is a "desire for something." I've always been frugal with money or asking for anything, but I have realized the differences between these two things more drastically in the last three months. The contrast between first world American Facebook statuses and my current living environment could be a source of this difference. Or my desire to integrate into this community more causes the difference between the worlds to become more apparent when I hear someone mention them or think them myself. My daily needs of safe drinking water, food, and bathroom are constantly being evaluated, while those were often taken for granted back home. State-side "needs," like wifi, hot water showers, and reliable electricity are now considered luxurious wants. Yes, I am human and want things (see learning point number 5) but I am learning the peace and joy of understanding the importance of not fixating on wants. There is a safe peace when I realize my needs are met and I am doing okay.

2. Appreciate what you have not what you are missing

This piggy backs on the aforementioned topic. I am so appreciative of my water filter and have stopped thinking longingly of safe tap water or ice (difference between need and wants). I love my one room in a busy house in Butajira, even though it was missing soundproof walls and lack of bug control. I appreciate my own outlet, instead of thinking about how rooms in America have multiple outlets everywhere. But I also look at the nonmaterialist things I don't have here. I am missing so many birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, and special occasions that I would love to celebrate with my family and friends. But I focus on all the new birthdays and holidays I get to celebrate with new friends. Many of my friends are going to grad school or having fun decorating classrooms (y'all are awesome), but I'm not. My life right now is so different from people that I am used to sharing experiences with, it is hard some days to not compare myself and be appreciative for what crazy random adventure God is taking me on.

3. Parent-isms

Maybe it's from having a two-year old brother or hanging out with people who are different from me, but sayings that my parents told me over and over and over again keep popping up in my mouth and taking me by surprise. When Baba would cry and scream about something I would say, "Use your words." Or "No means no." Or "Crying and begging get you no where with me." Even though he couldn't understand my English, he did understand that I was serious and wasn't going to give in. He stopped crying. If my friends were busy or curfew had brought me inside, but no one was doing anything, the sayings "entertain yourself" or "if you say you are bored you get chores" kept me on the lookout for something new to do or learn. It was because of this I saw the full process of killing a chicken. "It's okay to fail, but not to give up" kept me going with hard study days. "We all have different skills" and "_____ needs this more than you" prevented quick judgments and comparisons and led to respectful relationships, and letting things just slide off me. These are just some of my parents' phrases from years and years ago have come up these months. It just goes to show that words do have the power to change and influence an individual years after you say them.

4. Community

Back home I would consider living in multiple communities. One would be my church community and the other my school community of friends. In both situations individuals supported each other and cared about each other. Here community commitment is evident in everything. Neighbors visit each other for hours at a time with the host always offering something to eat and drink. Kids are looked after by the community while playing all over town. If someone is sick, everyone knows about it and is helping in someway. It may seem overwhelming and obnoxious for everyone to ask how you are feeling as they heard you were sick one day, but it is also comforting to know so many people are looking out for you. In Butajira there were so many people who would ask about my day, how learning Tigrigna was going, and how my host family was. It didn't matter that we both were heading places, what was more important was the person standing in front of you now. Valuing the person (God's creation) instead of time (man's contraption) is a lesson I never want to forget.

5. Odd Quirks

1) I speak really softly in Tigrigna and in groups. I have been told to speak louder on more than one occasion. 2) I love looking at cloud formations. They are just so beautiful and cool. It's like God is showing off His impromptu creativity. 3) Children rejuvenate me. Even if they take so much energy, I forget about being tired and just be with them. 4) I have random cravings. Common random food cravings are pancakes, ham, toast, string cheese, Everything Crackers, and chocolate. Common other cravings: embroidering, books, Pandora music and newspapers. I recognize these are all wants, but it is so odd battling them. 5) Skirts are my “go to” outfit. While pants are acceptable for women, I still find myself wearing skirts 98% of the time. 6) Letter writing is cathartic. Sure it may take weeks or months to receive letters, I absolutely love and treasure receiving and writing letters.

6. Differences in cultures is just different, not bad.

Ethiopians have taught me that Americans never fill their glasses all they way (water tension is key here), say "thank you," "please," and apologize for everything, and that one should respect and pay attention to greetings, and coffee is a process. I've learned that Ethiopians tend to be more flexible with time, use a different clock to tell time, do not mean to offend with direct commands, cook with lots of oil and consider soccer/football of high importance. While all of this is different from what I've been accustomed to, it doesn't make the behaviors bad or wrong. It is just a different or new way of living life. Through respect we can learn from each other instead of just getting frustrated at a culture clash.

7. It's been a semester of learning.

Academically I have learned so much about so many topics. I'm not going to spend super long talking about this, as you have heard most of it before. From education trainings to medical training I have learned more about more topics than I thought I would at training. Obviously language has also been a huge learning curve. This past Monday, I took my language placement test and was relieved at how much I could actually do know. No, I am not fluent. No, I am not the best. Yes, I still have a long way to go. But I passed what PC required me to do and feel confident going into site. Personally I have learned so much about my own personality (quirks, morals, values, ethics, etc) and that of others around me. I love to listen while others love to talk. I am behind the pop culture curve, but can bring Disney quotes into so many things. I am not materialist, while others are. There are just so many wonderful differences and newnesses to make learning an everyday experience.

PST has been hard. But it was the good kind of hard. Like the third day of practice for a new season. You know you are going to hurt, by you have to keep going so it becomes familiar. I feel conditioned and ready, but know that game days are different than practice. I go to my site where I will be put to the test. I know I will get frustrated, confused, lost, and discouraged. That's just life. Fouls are part of the game. If one focuses on being behind he or she always will be. I'm not going to focus on the score, but just giving my heat, energy, time, commitment and dedication to being the best me I can be. We will all see how the season of Peace Corps service goes.

Please pray for patience, understanding, learning and growth. I do not have wifi at site so I don't know how blogging will go from here. I love you all and am so blessed to have you all supporting me.

Happy New Year!

Nothing like going to a new calendar system to make one reevaluate the way she looks at life! Usually on September 11th there is gloom and a sense of remembrance. Not here, where it is New Year's day of the Ethiopian year 2007. The last time I celebrated the entrance of 2007, I was at Sydney Moberg's house with Sophie (exchange sister from Germany) and other girls where we brought enough sparkling apple cider for us each to have a bottle. I watched Titanic for the first and only time through that cider bottle that would haunt me during basketball practice the next day. That year I would play 1:29 in the state championship basketball game where we place second, go to San Fran and Hollywood on family vacation, play summer basketball, help kickoff FFA at Santiam, and dislocate my knee is basketball. With plenty of Young Life, practices, campaigners, and spirit weeks it made a full year. What's going to be new and different with this one?

When I think about New Year celebrations in the states, it usually revolves around New Year's Eve. Eating great food with the family. Playing games and such till 9, when we watch the ball drop in New York and my parents go to bed. Then hanging out with brothers or friends till midnight creeps across the country to finally reach the West Coast. The next morning we all sleep in and groggily come to breakfast of Dad's great cooking. Occasionally we talk about resolutions knowing they aren't always going to last the full 365 days. Compared to the other holidays it's pretty low key.

There is nothing remarkable about New Years Eve here. In fact my host family was confused when I used the phrase. To them, it is just a day to prepare for the following day. Preparations for me meant washing dishes. However, this allowed me to watch the new preparations going on. After chopping enough onions to fill a three- gallon bucket and putting those to simmer on the fire with oil, water and spices, the scene was cleared for the two roosters to be prepared. Seeing as how these roosters had waken me up at five that morning, I wasn't all that heart-broken when they were killed, plucked, blown like balloons, smoked, cut, washed, cooked and added to onions. The process did take forever and I only stayed for the first washing (meat is washed 15 times according to host mom), but it was pretty interesting. On a side note, I realized how sturdy my stomach is.

New Year's Day is a holy day. The first lesson I learned is that sleeping in is an American cultural trait. At seven my dear host mom banged on the door making sure I wasn't sick. At eight she did it again and, after asking if I wasn't sick, stated bluntly, "Get up. Get dressed. Eat breakfast." Alrighty then. Breakfast was doro watt or roosters in tasty onions with injera. Afterwards I was given a traditional Ethiopian shirt and told to shower and change. I was eager for this. The shirt is absolutely beautiful and mostly white. The rest of the morning was spent watching church services on TV. My family had already gone to church in the morning when I slept. During the afternoon I helped make popcorn (i.e.,  I got to wave the tin plate back and forth in front of the small opening in the charcoal stove to keep it hot.) We added sugar to it. Then we just hung out waiting for neighbors to come visiting. Community is a very integral part of this culture. At seven we went and visited one of our neighbors before going for a walk under the stars.

Today is host family appreciation day. Monday I take my language placement exam. Tuesday I head to Addis for more meetings. Friday I swear in as an official Peace Corps volunteer at the US embassy. Saturday I travel to my site to stay! 2007 is going to be busy and full of challenges. It is going to be interesting and entertaining to see how I learn and grow this year.

Silver Linings

 The world is a complex mess full of problems, conflicts, heartbreaks and depression. The quick running tag line of headlines on BBC is enough to verify this. People dying from disease, crashes, and other humans. Recessions coming. Wars. Life, at times can be like this too. Culture shock, being scheduled by other people, having giant assignments due, and gossip floating around can all lead to internal conflicts. Peace Corps' motto of "being the hardest job you'll ever love" definitely applies to PST too. However, the job maybe hard, but it ends in love. It's important to look for (or make) the glimmers of silver linings.

Last week, this week, and next week language class is scheduled for 4-6 hours per day. That is a lot of language. Even though frustrations arise, I was shocked the other day by the confidence, fluency, and comprehension I was demonstrating. I've caught myself mentally thinking and translating others into Tigrigna. Verbs are coming easier to memorize and use in the proper tense. I understand the questions being asked of me and can often explain my reasoning which requires higher level thinking. I am not using a memorized script, but instead using authentic language. Yes, it is hard. Yes, I wish I could talk to others in Butajira. But I am learning language that will come in handy in three weeks!

As we are finishing up PST there have been many assignments and tests to prepare for. One paper ended up being eight pages typed and took hours to write. Hours that are sparse in free time. Power outages didn't help with it either. The title of the assignment was "Readiness to Serve," and while I won't share all that was written, I will say I'm now glad I did it. Peace Corps asked some good thought-provoking questions about the reality of signing onto a two year contract. What do I envision my service being? How am I aligned to the PC philosophy on service and development? How have I identified and adapted to new cultural norms? How have I integrated? How have I supported my other PCTs? There is a peace that comes with reflection. Yes, there are many things I don't know about, but I do know that I'm where I'm suppose to be, being prepared for a great two year job, and love the people I am with.

Verbal harassment is an everyday occurrence. I am white, female, young, and easy to spot. Guys call out how much they love me. Children ask for money. When giving fist pumps some children pull back to pound you hard. Needless to say it can be exhausting, disheartening, and irritating. But four beautiful girls break into my life like rays of sunshine coming through thick, dark clouds. They constantly bless me with hugs, patty cake games and little glimpses of Amharic. My little brother crawls into my lap for nursery songs and to tickle. He has recently discovered the joy of summer-saulting, but needs help turning over. It's joys of laugher that ease the frustrations of taunts throughout the day.

Mud is slippery, gross, and goes everywhere. Dust is obnoxious, irritating and nasty tasting. Rain is cold, wet and loud on metal roofs. Sun is bright, warm, and burns skin. These previous weeks we've had it all. We also heard about a 113 year old man responding to the question of longevity with the quote "When it rains, I let it." The weather is uncertain, but how you react to it is certainly dependent on yourself only. I realized there are a 101 shades of green in my town because of the rain. The purple gray whisps of evening clouds are trimmed with soft gold by the setting sun. I am getting tan. Horses hooves make different sounds when they encounter different surfaces.

The past week, this week, today has been full of downers. There are spiders. I smell roasting coffee daily. Free time is fleeting. Food is spicy. The water was out for five days. But it's important to find the silver linings to focus on. I fed a baboon and monkeys bread. I saw a two-week old baby bamboo try to walk. I can take a shower with two liters of saved water and have some remaining. I found a playlist my brother Philip gave me years ago that is bombdotcom! I heard both of my parents' voices! I can make bread and a really good meat dish. I found doughnuts with chocolate frosting! Food that was once too spicy is now appetizing. Sure, life may lead to optimism, but I've learned this week it's our attitudes that ultimately decides what we focus on. I'm looking for the silver linings.