Silver Linings

 The world is a complex mess full of problems, conflicts, heartbreaks and depression. The quick running tag line of headlines on BBC is enough to verify this. People dying from disease, crashes, and other humans. Recessions coming. Wars. Life, at times can be like this too. Culture shock, being scheduled by other people, having giant assignments due, and gossip floating around can all lead to internal conflicts. Peace Corps' motto of "being the hardest job you'll ever love" definitely applies to PST too. However, the job maybe hard, but it ends in love. It's important to look for (or make) the glimmers of silver linings.

Last week, this week, and next week language class is scheduled for 4-6 hours per day. That is a lot of language. Even though frustrations arise, I was shocked the other day by the confidence, fluency, and comprehension I was demonstrating. I've caught myself mentally thinking and translating others into Tigrigna. Verbs are coming easier to memorize and use in the proper tense. I understand the questions being asked of me and can often explain my reasoning which requires higher level thinking. I am not using a memorized script, but instead using authentic language. Yes, it is hard. Yes, I wish I could talk to others in Butajira. But I am learning language that will come in handy in three weeks!

As we are finishing up PST there have been many assignments and tests to prepare for. One paper ended up being eight pages typed and took hours to write. Hours that are sparse in free time. Power outages didn't help with it either. The title of the assignment was "Readiness to Serve," and while I won't share all that was written, I will say I'm now glad I did it. Peace Corps asked some good thought-provoking questions about the reality of signing onto a two year contract. What do I envision my service being? How am I aligned to the PC philosophy on service and development? How have I identified and adapted to new cultural norms? How have I integrated? How have I supported my other PCTs? There is a peace that comes with reflection. Yes, there are many things I don't know about, but I do know that I'm where I'm suppose to be, being prepared for a great two year job, and love the people I am with.

Verbal harassment is an everyday occurrence. I am white, female, young, and easy to spot. Guys call out how much they love me. Children ask for money. When giving fist pumps some children pull back to pound you hard. Needless to say it can be exhausting, disheartening, and irritating. But four beautiful girls break into my life like rays of sunshine coming through thick, dark clouds. They constantly bless me with hugs, patty cake games and little glimpses of Amharic. My little brother crawls into my lap for nursery songs and to tickle. He has recently discovered the joy of summer-saulting, but needs help turning over. It's joys of laugher that ease the frustrations of taunts throughout the day.

Mud is slippery, gross, and goes everywhere. Dust is obnoxious, irritating and nasty tasting. Rain is cold, wet and loud on metal roofs. Sun is bright, warm, and burns skin. These previous weeks we've had it all. We also heard about a 113 year old man responding to the question of longevity with the quote "When it rains, I let it." The weather is uncertain, but how you react to it is certainly dependent on yourself only. I realized there are a 101 shades of green in my town because of the rain. The purple gray whisps of evening clouds are trimmed with soft gold by the setting sun. I am getting tan. Horses hooves make different sounds when they encounter different surfaces.

The past week, this week, today has been full of downers. There are spiders. I smell roasting coffee daily. Free time is fleeting. Food is spicy. The water was out for five days. But it's important to find the silver linings to focus on. I fed a baboon and monkeys bread. I saw a two-week old baby bamboo try to walk. I can take a shower with two liters of saved water and have some remaining. I found a playlist my brother Philip gave me years ago that is bombdotcom! I heard both of my parents' voices! I can make bread and a really good meat dish. I found doughnuts with chocolate frosting! Food that was once too spicy is now appetizing. Sure, life may lead to optimism, but I've learned this week it's our attitudes that ultimately decides what we focus on. I'm looking for the silver linings.