Today
I finished my last training class as a Peace Corps Trainee (PST). Tomorrow I
dress up all cute, go to the US Embassy, and get sworn in as a Peace Corps
Volunteer. The following day I go to my home for the next two years and get
settled in before teaching. Someone once told me life is like driving. Usually
you need to look forward and plan ahead so you know where you are going, but
every once in a while you need to glance in your rear view mirror to see where
you have been. Here is the rear view of the past three months, of learning
about myself, others, and life.
1. Difference
between needs and wants
A need is to
"require something because it is essential or important." A want is a
"desire for something." I've always been frugal with money or asking
for anything, but I have realized the differences between these two things more
drastically in the last three months. The contrast between first world American
Facebook statuses and my current living environment could be a source of this
difference. Or my desire to integrate into this community more causes the
difference between the worlds to become more apparent when I hear someone
mention them or think them myself. My daily needs of safe drinking water, food,
and bathroom are constantly being evaluated, while those were often taken for
granted back home. State-side "needs," like wifi, hot water showers,
and reliable electricity are now considered luxurious wants. Yes, I am human
and want things (see learning point number 5) but I am learning the peace and
joy of understanding the importance of not fixating on wants. There is a safe
peace when I realize my needs are met and I am doing okay.
2. Appreciate what you have not what you are missing
This piggy backs on
the aforementioned topic. I am so appreciative of my water filter and have
stopped thinking longingly of safe tap water or ice (difference between need
and wants). I love my one room in a busy house in Butajira, even though it was
missing soundproof walls and lack of bug control. I appreciate my own outlet,
instead of thinking about how rooms in America have multiple outlets
everywhere. But I also look at the nonmaterialist things I don't have here. I
am missing so many birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, and special occasions
that I would love to celebrate with my family and friends. But I focus on all
the new birthdays and holidays I get to celebrate with new friends. Many of my
friends are going to grad school or having fun decorating classrooms (y'all are
awesome), but I'm not. My life right now is so different from people that I am
used to sharing experiences with, it is hard some days to not compare myself
and be appreciative for what crazy random adventure God is taking me on.
3. Parent-isms
Maybe it's from
having a two-year old brother or hanging out with people who are different from
me, but sayings that my parents told me over and over and over again keep
popping up in my mouth and taking me by surprise. When Baba would cry and
scream about something I would say, "Use your words." Or "No
means no." Or "Crying and begging get you no where with me."
Even though he couldn't understand my English, he did understand that I was
serious and wasn't going to give in. He stopped crying. If my friends were busy
or curfew had brought me inside, but no one was doing anything, the sayings
"entertain yourself" or "if you say you are bored you get
chores" kept me on the lookout for something new to do or learn. It was
because of this I saw the full process of killing a chicken. "It's okay to
fail, but not to give up" kept me going with hard study days. "We all
have different skills" and "_____ needs this more than you"
prevented quick judgments and comparisons and led to respectful relationships,
and letting things just slide off me. These are just some of my parents' phrases
from years and years ago have come up these months. It just goes to show that
words do have the power to change and influence an individual years after you
say them.
4. Community
Back home I would
consider living in multiple communities. One would be my church community and
the other my school community of friends. In both situations individuals
supported each other and cared about each other. Here community commitment is
evident in everything. Neighbors visit each other for hours at a time with the
host always offering something to eat and drink. Kids are looked after by the
community while playing all over town. If someone is sick, everyone knows about
it and is helping in someway. It may seem overwhelming and obnoxious for
everyone to ask how you are feeling as they heard you were sick one day, but it
is also comforting to know so many people are looking out for you. In Butajira
there were so many people who would ask about my day, how learning Tigrigna was
going, and how my host family was. It didn't matter that we both were heading
places, what was more important was the person standing in front of you now.
Valuing the person (God's creation) instead of time (man's contraption) is a
lesson I never want to forget.
5. Odd Quirks
1) I speak really
softly in Tigrigna and in groups. I have been told to speak louder on more than
one occasion. 2) I love looking at cloud formations. They are just so beautiful
and cool. It's like God is showing off His impromptu creativity. 3) Children
rejuvenate me. Even if they take so much energy, I forget about being tired and
just be with them. 4) I have random cravings. Common random food cravings are
pancakes, ham, toast, string cheese, Everything Crackers, and chocolate. Common
other cravings: embroidering, books, Pandora music and newspapers. I recognize
these are all wants, but it is so odd battling them. 5) Skirts are my “go to”
outfit. While pants are acceptable for women, I still find myself wearing
skirts 98% of the time. 6) Letter writing is cathartic. Sure it may take weeks
or months to receive letters, I absolutely love and treasure receiving and
writing letters.
6. Differences in cultures is just different, not bad.
Ethiopians have
taught me that Americans never fill their glasses all they way (water tension
is key here), say "thank you," "please," and apologize for
everything, and that one should respect and pay attention to greetings, and
coffee is a process. I've learned that Ethiopians tend to be more flexible with
time, use a different clock to tell time, do not mean to offend with direct
commands, cook with lots of oil and consider soccer/football of high
importance. While all of this is different from what I've been accustomed to,
it doesn't make the behaviors bad or wrong. It is just a different or new way
of living life. Through respect we can learn from each other instead of just
getting frustrated at a culture clash.
7. It's been a semester of learning.
Academically I have
learned so much about so many topics. I'm not going to spend super long talking
about this, as you have heard most of it before. From education trainings to
medical training I have learned more about more topics than I thought I would
at training. Obviously language has also been a huge learning curve. This past
Monday, I took my language placement test and was relieved at how much I could
actually do know. No, I am not fluent. No, I am not the best. Yes, I still have
a long way to go. But I passed what PC required me to do and feel confident
going into site. Personally I have learned so much about my own personality
(quirks, morals, values, ethics, etc) and that of others around me. I love to
listen while others love to talk. I am behind the pop culture curve, but can
bring Disney quotes into so many things. I am not materialist, while others
are. There are just so many wonderful differences and newnesses to make
learning an everyday experience.
PST has been hard.
But it was the good kind of hard. Like the third day of practice for a new
season. You know you are going to hurt, by you have to keep going so it becomes
familiar. I feel conditioned and ready, but know that game days are different
than practice. I go to my site where I will be put to the test. I know I will
get frustrated, confused, lost, and discouraged. That's just life. Fouls are
part of the game. If one focuses on being behind he or she always will be. I'm
not going to focus on the score, but just giving my heat, energy, time,
commitment and dedication to being the best me I can be. We will all see how
the season of Peace Corps service goes.
Please pray for patience, understanding, learning
and growth. I do not have wifi at site so I don't know how blogging will go
from here. I love you all and am so blessed to have you all supporting me.
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