(Janet’s note: Most of the quotes are lesser known lyrics from The
Sound of Music. Jess would argue
that they are not lesser known, since she’s known them forever! Good girl!)
It’s come and it’s almost gone. On Friday I had
my students for the last time this semester and on Wednesday they take their
final exam. By next weekend the semester’s grades will be finalized. A week-long
semester break will allow all of us to have time to recuperate before going
strong for another 6 units of textbook material till late June. My first
semester in my first year of teaching has come and is almost gone.
Filtering through the scribbled out lessons
plans (many in a lesson plan format, but some doodled on scraps of paper), I’m
awed at how much my students have had to take in this year. Adjectives, verbs,
prepositions and nouns in sets of six used for weekly spelling words.
Additionally key vocabulary circled and highlighted to make sure it’s reviewed
in other lessons too. (ex. Homonym, synonym, homograph, biography.) Sentence
cards ready to go for variations present, past and future tense exercises. A
priority mail shipping box with posters rolled up and sticking up ready to be
reused next year or for review. Plastic, that once covered a package of poster
paper for shipping, is now around a single page and is marked with pink dry
erase ink from the last class correcting all the punctuation errors to review
for a final. Spelling tests and short exams ready to be put into the grade
book. A duct taped manila envelope waiting to be sent back to the states to our
pen-pal-ing 8th and 9th graders in Washington State. This semester has
gone into learning, exploring, testing, and figuring out what works both for my
students and myself.
Re-reading journal entries and reflections on
lesson plans I can now admit how scared I was at the beginning of the semester.
Seventy students each in three classes equals a lot of work! English levels
that range from Pre-K to above this text book. Classrooms seemed small and
cramped. As Maria sings: “I’ve always longed for adventure. To do the things
I’ve never dared. Now, here I am facing adventure, now, why am I so scared?” I
was scared at the prospect of doing more harm than good, of not reaching my
students where they need me to be, of being too different to connect. I had
been told I was a good teacher from mentors, friends, and various observations
through college, but that was all in the States where I had resources, time, no
language barriers, small classes (28 doesn’t seem large anymore) and a copy
machine.
This semester I’ve learned to not allow
complaining of what I don’t have to be my crutch. I may not be able to teach
like I used to (no School House Rock videos), but I can still teach. I
know how to change the lessons to make a more logical flow than the book
suggests, and students are building new knowledge off previous knowledge. I
know that on certain days at certain periods my classes will decide learning is
not worth the two hour walk to school, and I have to pick up energy and
involvement if I want to keep the learning process going. I know that lesson
plans are more like guidelines and that one has to focus on the objective not
the way you thought you were going to get there with students. I know I am on
my way to “seeking the courage I [originally] lack. The courage to serve them
with reliance. Face my mistakes without defiance. Show them I’m worthy and
while I show them--I’ll show me.” Some days I collapse and think “How/Why in
the world did my day go like that?” But then I remember that God is in control
and if having an exhausting day is what He needs me to do in order to further
His kingdom and my life, then so be it.
This has not been an easy, breezy semester. I doubt I will ever have
that, especially not in the next two years. But I no longer shudder at the
prospect of problems. I have the attitude to “let them bring on all their
problems. I’ll do better than my best. I have confidence they’ll put me to the
test, but I’ll make them see I have confidence in me.” They have tried me in
more ways than I thought. I found buttons being pushed that I didn’t know
existed. I’ve been frustrated, upset, disgruntled and any other exhausted
adjective you can think of. But I rejoice when they come to me with their
problems. At the beginning of the year it was all I could do to get them
talking to me about anything that wasn’t previously scripted in their exercise
books. That is not the case anymore. I hear all about the chores they did over
the weekend, and how this teacher upset or confused them and if I can help.
They ask what the difference is in ‘graph’ and ‘graphy’ between key terms like ‘homo-graph’
and ‘bio-graphy.’ And do you say “sourer” or “more sour” even though the rule
says that more is for double syllable adjective and sourer sounds funny?
Students come to me at break when I want to relax to ask something and soon a
whole group is milling around. I’ve learned it is possible to smile while
exhausted and overwhelmed.
In all honesty and respect, Whitworth’s School of Education did do a
great job of preparing me for teaching over here. Sure, my lessons now are not
having to comply with state or CORE standards (I do however look at these
occasionally to see how we compare) or do I have to bring technology into every
lesson, but there are similarities. However, I don’t think I could have
foreseen the importance of classroom management and routines. What works in
classes of 25 isn’t guaranteed to work for 70. When I started, I thought
“somehow I will impress them. I will be firm but kind. And all those children,
heaven bless them, they will look up to me and mind me.” Without really putting
forward the thought or routines needed. This semester I have learned to adapt
and teach more management skills so that classes run more efficiently. I have
students for 42 minutes 4 times a week and that is often the only English they
receive. During student teaching I was hesitant to be harsh and firm. Not
anymore. No means no. Homework is due when I say not when you turn it in. Group
work cannot be entirely written by the same person. Now at the end of the
semester “With each step I am more certain. Everything will turn out
fine. I have confidence the world can all be mine. They’ll have to agree
I have confidence in me…I have confidence in confidence alone.” In no way is my
classroom perfect, and I wonder what advisors would say if they observed me
now, but step by step we learn and grow.
I still have a
mountain of work ahead of me, but I love the view of where I am now. I
think my life and semester can be summarized best by this quote from Sound of Music: “What is the most
important lesson you’ve learned here, my child?” Reverend Mother asked.
“To find out what is the will of God and to do it whole heartedly.” Maria is
right on track. I pray I can do the will of God daily and pursue it with my
whole heart, even on days when I’m scared and feel at a lost of confidence.
No comments:
Post a Comment