This morning my roommate left me alone at 5:30. I left the hotel alone at 6 and waited alone for a café to open. At 6:30 I decided against breakfast and walked alone to the bus station where I got on a bus to take me to the other bus station of Mekele. I listened to music alone as the Tigray rocks, bushes and sheep scenery went by. I ate brunch alone before waiting for another bus to come. I eventually got back to site where I sit in my room alone to type this out.
Being alone often has a negative connotation. We check phones and facebook to see that others are awake and connected. Old ladies grumble that we should get married so we won’t be alone for the rest of our lives while dating and chat sites assure us that we aren’t alone. Being alone is a key part in the adjective lonely which sounds more like Eeyore then we’d like to admit.
However, as I was walking along the cobblestone streets in Mekele to my first bus, standing in the dust at next city’s bus station, and watching scenery zoom by, I remembered back to when we were still living in Colorado. I was probably five or so and Grandma and Grandpa Hein (Mom’s parents) were visiting (maybe for Thomas being born?). Already being a big helpful sister I was helping Mom wash dishes and had just learned how to properly wash knives. I remember calling Grandma over to watch me proudly wash and announce “Look I did it all by myself.” This is a common proclamation I would announce many times throughout growing up like many children. “It” would change to incorporate writing my name, embroidering, sewing clothes, paper mache Alps, blocking out basketball opponents, and various report cards. There is a certain pride in being able to do something “all by myself.”
So why don’t we—I--use that term instead of the term “alone?” For instance, “This morning my roommate left me alone at 5:30. I left the hotel all by myself at 6 and waited for a café to open. At 6:30 I decided against breakfast and walked all by myself to the bus station where I got on a bus to take me to the other bus station of Mekele. I listened to music operating the technology all by myself as the Tigray rocks, bushes and sheep scenery went by. I ate brunch after ordering in Tigrigna all by myself before waiting for another bus to come. I eventually got back to site all by myself where I sit in my room to type this out.”
“Alone” is an adjective to describe being one and only. “All by myself” is a verbal phrase to show ability. I have the ability to wait, navigate streets of Mekele, communicate for buses and food, and get things done. Granted I was alone, by myself, for the actions, but I can still take pride in them.
Being alone and lonely is a common, honest complaint among Peace Corps Volunteers. While I do have two Peace Corps site mates, I don’t see them and often feel like the volunteers who are the only “forengi” (Ethiopian term for foreigners) at their sites. It can be hard and daunting. Today I wasn’t too excited about traveling from one side of Tigray to the other without a travel buddy. However, the thing is we also complain about never being alone. Where ever we go people call out to us. This blog has been paused for a dance party in my room with three lively girls who just come into my room. If I look at today, I wasn’t alone walking to the bus station, waiting in line, or at the restaurant I ate at. There are people everywhere.
The point I’m trying to make is that being alone isn’t a bad thing or technically correct. Being put in new situations allows growth to happen. If we look up from our phones and plans, we will see that there are lots of people that make us still part of a group. I met an Ethiopian who lives in Dubai but is back to visit family. When I bothered to look around on the bus, I talked to a med student while waiting for a bus to show up . We can take pride in what we do just like we did when we were children. Even in the small things like getting from Point A to Point B successfully or using the correct verb tense in a sentence. I did it all by myself.
Being alone often has a negative connotation. We check phones and facebook to see that others are awake and connected. Old ladies grumble that we should get married so we won’t be alone for the rest of our lives while dating and chat sites assure us that we aren’t alone. Being alone is a key part in the adjective lonely which sounds more like Eeyore then we’d like to admit.
However, as I was walking along the cobblestone streets in Mekele to my first bus, standing in the dust at next city’s bus station, and watching scenery zoom by, I remembered back to when we were still living in Colorado. I was probably five or so and Grandma and Grandpa Hein (Mom’s parents) were visiting (maybe for Thomas being born?). Already being a big helpful sister I was helping Mom wash dishes and had just learned how to properly wash knives. I remember calling Grandma over to watch me proudly wash and announce “Look I did it all by myself.” This is a common proclamation I would announce many times throughout growing up like many children. “It” would change to incorporate writing my name, embroidering, sewing clothes, paper mache Alps, blocking out basketball opponents, and various report cards. There is a certain pride in being able to do something “all by myself.”
So why don’t we—I--use that term instead of the term “alone?” For instance, “This morning my roommate left me alone at 5:30. I left the hotel all by myself at 6 and waited for a café to open. At 6:30 I decided against breakfast and walked all by myself to the bus station where I got on a bus to take me to the other bus station of Mekele. I listened to music operating the technology all by myself as the Tigray rocks, bushes and sheep scenery went by. I ate brunch after ordering in Tigrigna all by myself before waiting for another bus to come. I eventually got back to site all by myself where I sit in my room to type this out.”
“Alone” is an adjective to describe being one and only. “All by myself” is a verbal phrase to show ability. I have the ability to wait, navigate streets of Mekele, communicate for buses and food, and get things done. Granted I was alone, by myself, for the actions, but I can still take pride in them.
Being alone and lonely is a common, honest complaint among Peace Corps Volunteers. While I do have two Peace Corps site mates, I don’t see them and often feel like the volunteers who are the only “forengi” (Ethiopian term for foreigners) at their sites. It can be hard and daunting. Today I wasn’t too excited about traveling from one side of Tigray to the other without a travel buddy. However, the thing is we also complain about never being alone. Where ever we go people call out to us. This blog has been paused for a dance party in my room with three lively girls who just come into my room. If I look at today, I wasn’t alone walking to the bus station, waiting in line, or at the restaurant I ate at. There are people everywhere.
The point I’m trying to make is that being alone isn’t a bad thing or technically correct. Being put in new situations allows growth to happen. If we look up from our phones and plans, we will see that there are lots of people that make us still part of a group. I met an Ethiopian who lives in Dubai but is back to visit family. When I bothered to look around on the bus, I talked to a med student while waiting for a bus to show up . We can take pride in what we do just like we did when we were children. Even in the small things like getting from Point A to Point B successfully or using the correct verb tense in a sentence. I did it all by myself.
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